the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
