I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
