lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sorry about my life...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
