So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize