apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
