you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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