i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize