My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
this beer tastes like vomit already
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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