i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
