Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
