i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize