what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I believe in your delicious
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
