Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
