Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
