Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
