You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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