Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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