Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
