So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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