I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
