some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
