thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
