Yo dont text me then not text me
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
