Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Still dying that you shit outside
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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