So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
