that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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