You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
