i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
