when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
