my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
