Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
