you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize