remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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