It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
