You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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