she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
