We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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