we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
