Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
