Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
