im about as happy as oj after his trial
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize