My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
