i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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