Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
