Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
