All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize