I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
