i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
