Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
