I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize