Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
