You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
