I think i peed on brittanys purse
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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