I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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