I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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