what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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