I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
