Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
