Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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