I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
