Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
