Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Still dying that you shit outside
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
