that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
where are you?
Hypothermia
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
