One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You made out with two different species that night
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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