I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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