we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize