Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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