He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
