make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
