You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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