does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
