on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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