Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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