I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
