Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
