Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
