I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
