I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize