i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
