Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize