I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
