dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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