They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
